ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris sur (ou touchez) les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. On an international flight VOL , a young woman was having a long conversation with the priest PRÊTRE sitting next to her. They were about to ALLAIENT DE land when the woman, looking slightly embarrassed, said, “Listen, Father, may I ask you for a favour? I bought a luxury massage tool APPAREIL that was quite expensive, and I really don’t want to pay customs fees TAXES DE DOUANE . Could you POURRIEZ‑VOUS hide it under your cassock SORTE DE ROBE LONGUE when we pass through customs LA DOUANE … please?” The priest reluctantly À CONTRECŒUR agreed and hid the massage tool under his cassock. But he warned her, “I’ll do my best, but I cannot lie MENTIR .” At the airport, a customs officer DOUANIER approached the priest and asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?” The priest replied, “From my hea...

Learn English With Jokes Choisissez des blagues selon la grammaire utilisée (à partir des 'labels' au dessus) Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. Two Afrikaner DESCENDANT NEERLANDAIS D’AFRIQUE DU SUD friends, Pieter and Jaco, were chatting DISCUTAIENT before Pieter’s wedding MARIAGE . Pieter admitted, “ Boet FRÈRE … I’m stressing. I’ve never… you know… been with a woman before.” Jaco grinned SOURIAIT LARGEMENT . “Relax, man. I’ve got you JE M’OCCUPE DE TOI / JE GÈRE . I’ll sneak ME FAUFILER DISCRÈTEMENT into the honeymoon suite SUITE NUPTIALE before you arrive, hide behind the curtain LE RIDEAU , and whisper CHUCHOTER instructions.” “You’d do that for me?” “Of course, broer FRÈRE .” So the big day arrived. It was a beautiful wedding and the couple looked happy. Jaco slipped into SE GLISSA DISCRÈTEMENT DANS the honeymoon suite early and hid be...

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. I like a woman with a head on her shoulders AVEC UNE TÊTE BIEN FAITE SUR LES ÉPAULES . I hate necks LES COUS . Steve Martin Love is like a fart UN PET . If you have to force it, it's probably sh*t. Stephen K. Amos I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells. Richard Pryor If God had written the Bible, the first line should have been AURAIT DÛ ÊTRE : It's round. Eddie Izzard Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the corner C’ÉTAIT MOI DANS LE COIN . Milton Jones My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that NOUS VERRONS BIEN CELA . Stewart Francis ...

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. I tried donating blood… Never again! Too many dumb IDIOTES questions! “ Whose blood is it? À QUI EST CE SANG ? ” “ Where did you get it from? OÙ L’AS-TU PRIS ? ” “ Why is it in a bucket? POURQUOI EST-IL DANS UN SEAU ? ” Vocabulary Blood: the red liquid that circulates in the body. Dumb: stupid or foolish. The donor heard too many dumb IDIOTES questions about his blood SANG . They asked why it was in a bucket SEAU . Grammar The joke uses past simple to narrate a completed past action and past perfect for actions completed before another past moment. Past simple: I tried donating blood. Past perfect: They asked where I had got it from. Synonyms & Alternatives Dumb: stupid, sil...