ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. Choisissez des blagues selon la grammaire utilisée (à partir des 'labels' en bas) 𝔸 robber VOLEUR ARMÉ pulls a gun on a bank clerk EMPLOYÉ DE BANQUE and the manager hears him say, "Give me all the money!" " May I ask PUIS-JE DEMANDER , sir," says the bank manager, "why you're doing this?" "Well, you know, I need it to set myself up M’INSTALLER in a trade or profession. Seed money CAPITAL DE DÉPART is needed to cover the overheads FRAIS GÉNÉRAUX until my cash flow TRÉSORERIE is established and turned into passive income REVENU PASSIF ." The bank manager leans SE PENCHA to the clerk and says, " You’d better TU FERAIENT MIEUX do what he says — I think he means business IL EST SÉRIEUX ." 🔍 Vocabulary ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. Choisissez des blagues selon la grammaire utilisée (à partir des 'labels' en bas) 𝔸 farmer is walking with a potential buyer when they see a beautiful pig in the yard JARDIN , except that it has a wooden EN BOIS leg. The buyer asks, "Why does it have a wooden EN BOIS leg?" The farmer replies, "That pig is so smart MALIN | FUTÉ that I let it drive the kids LES GOSSES to school." "Great, but why the wooden EN BOIS leg?" "I'm telling you, the pig is so smart MALIN | FUTÉ it has a diploma in horticulture and psychology." "Amazing! But why the wooden leg? Why the wooden EN BOIS leg?" "Well, when you have a pig that smart MALIN | FUTÉ , you don't eat it all at once D'UN SEUL COUP ....

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. Choisissez des blagues selon la grammaire utilisée (à partir des 'labels' en bas) 𝕊enator Roberts called his wife just before leaving the office. "I'm bringing two coworkers COLLÈGUES home tonight," he said. "Please hide CACHER anything that has Made in China written on it. I don’t want to be accused of not supporting the Trump agenda PROGRAMME, ORDRE DU JOUR ." Later, when he arrived with his guests INVITÉS , he was stunned STUPÉFAIT, CHOQUÉ . The front door was gone. So were the windows. The furniture, appliances, decorations—almost everything had vanished DISPARU . His coworkers COLLÈGUES just stood there, speechless. And right at that moment, his wife walked out to greet them. Completely naked NUE . ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. Choisissez des blagues selon la grammaire utilisée (à partir des 'labels' en bas) 𝔸 worker OUVRIER from the Guinness brewery BRASSERIE went to his colleague’s home with some grim SINISTRE news. “I’m so sorry, Mary,” he said gently, “but Kenneth died at the brewery BRASSERIE today.” “Oh my God!” gasped Mary. “What happened?” “He drowned in a vat CUVE of Guinness Stout,” the man said, lowering his head. “That’s awful! But… was it quick at least?” The worker sighed. “I’m afraid not. He climbed out twice to take a leak PISSER .” 🔍 Vocabulary In this joke, let’s look at brewery , grim , vat , and take a leak . Brewery is a place where beer is produced. Grim means bleak, worrying, or depressing. ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. Choisissez des blagues selon la grammaire utilisée (à partir des 'labels' en bas) 𝔸 teacher PROFESSEUR(E) was giving a lesson when she noticed Johnny wasn’t paying attention. She asked, “If there are three ducks CANARDS sitting on a fence CLÔTURE and you shoot one, how many are left?” Johnny replied, “ None AUCUN .” The teacher asked, “Why?” Johnny said, “Because the gunshot COUP DE FEU scared them all away.” The teacher answered, “No, two — but I like the way you’re thinking.” Then Johnny asked, “If you see three women walking out of an ice-cream parlour SALON DE GLACE — one licking her ice-cream, one sucking her ice-cream, and one biting her ice-cream — which one is married?” The teacher replied, “The one sucking her ice-cr...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. Choisissez des blagues selon la grammaire utilisée (à partir des 'labels' en bas) 𝔸 moron ABRUTI(E) | CRÉTIN(E) was overweight EN SURPOIDS , so his doctor prescribed a diet. "I want you to eat normally for two days, then skip SAUTER a day, and repeat this for two weeks. When I see you next, you will have lost VOUS AUREZ PERDU at least five kilos." When the man returned, he had lost nearly 20 kilos! "That's astonishing!" the doctor exclaimed. "Did you follow my instructions?" The man nodded LE GARS HOCHE LA TÊTE . "I’ll tell you, Doctor, I thought I’d drop dead on the third day." "From hunger?" the doctor asked. "No, from skipping," the man replied. 🔍 Vocabulary In t...