ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. On a busy bank holiday JOUR FÉRIÉ , the zoo manager offered €200 to a worker to act as a gorilla SE FAIRE PASSER POUR UN GORILLE , because the real one was unwell MALADE . Determined to impress his boss, the worker climbed into the enclosure ENCLOS and hung from the ceiling PLAFOND of the lion’s den ANTRE DU LION . However, he slipped IL GLISSA and fell to the floor, landing just a few metres away from the lion. Screaming HURLANT for help, terrified for his life, the worker panicked as the lion pounced on him SE JETA SUR LUI . Then the lion whispered MURMURA : “ Shut the hell up FERME TA GUEULE or we’re all going to lose our jobs!” Vocabulary Enclosure: an area where animals are kept in a zoo. Pounce: to jump suddenly on so...

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. A boy from a poor family wanted a bike VÉLO for Christmas. He asked his mother. The mother sighed SOUPIRA , “ We can’t afford one ON NE PEUT PAS S’EN PERMETTRE UN —you’ll have to ask Baby Jesus.” So he went to his room, grabbed SAISIT a pen and a stack of paper UNE PILE DE PAPIER , and began writing: “Dear Baby Jesus, I’ve been good all year TOUTE L’ANNÉE . Can you please give me a bike for Christmas?” He paused. That didn’t feel entirely honest. He tried again: “Dear Baby Jesus, I’ve been good for the past week. Can you please give me a bike for Christmas?” Still unsure TOUJOURS INCERTAIN , he tried a third time: “Dear Baby Jesus, if you give me a bike, I’ll be good all year.” Even that seemed too much SEMBLAIT TROP . He went outside to think. While walking TOUT EN MARCHANT , he no...

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. Donald goes to the doctor’s after receiving some very bad news about his condition SON ÉTAT DE SANTÉ . Doctor: " Unfortunately MALHEUREUSEMENT sir, you have only one week to live." Donald: "Doctor, what on Earth are you saying QU’EST-CE QUE VOUS RACONTEZ ?", he asked, clearly shocked. " What can I do to live at least QUE PUIS-JE FAIRE POUR VIVRE AU MOINS a little longer? I don’t have any family but I really want to finish all the television shows I’m watching." Doctor: "Well, do you eat greasy and fried GRAS ET FRIT food?" Donald: "Yes." Doctor: "Stop doing that." Donald: "If I’ll live longer, sure!" Doctor: "Do you drink sodas and eat fast food?" Donald: "Yes." Doctor: "Stop doing that....

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. A guy walks into a bar with a poodle CANICHE under his arm. Perplexed, the bartender BARMAN asks, “ What are you doing with that pig QUE FAIS-TU AVEC CE COCHON ?” The guy responds, “ Are you blind ES-TU AVEUGLE ? Can't you see that it's a poodle CANICHE ?” The bartender says, “I was talking to the poodle CANICHE .” BONUS Question : Qu’est-ce qu’un canif PEN-KNIFE ? Réponse : C'est un p’tit LIL' fien. Vocabulary Poodle: a breed of dog, often kept as a pet. Bartender: the person serving drinks at a bar. The guy walked in with a poodle CANICHE . The bartender BARMAN asked what he was doing. Grammar The joke mainly uses past simple and past con...