ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy were crossing the Atlantic on an aeroplane when the engines failed. They frantically FRÉNÉTIQUEMENT looked for and found three parachutes. Donald Trump grabbed S'EMPARA the first parachute and jumped out of the plane, saying, “The world needs a great person like me!” Joe Biden took another and said, “I need to help make choices for our world,” before jumping out as well À SON TOUR . At that point, only the Pope and the little boy remained on the plane POUR LES TRANSPORTS EN COMMUN, ON DIT 'ON', PAS 'IN' . The Pope said, “Take the last parachute, my son. I am an old man and will die soon anyway.” The boy smiled and replied, “ Actually EN FAIT , there are two left. Donald Trump took my knapsack SAC À DOS .” Vocabulary parachute: Device to ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. The preacher pasteur , in his Sunday sermon sermon , used “ Forgive Your Enemies pardonnez vos ennemis ” as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive disposés à pardonner their enemies. About half raised their hands levèrent la main . Not satisfied, he harangued il harangua the congregation for another twenty minutes and repeated the question. This time, nearly eighty per cent responded. Still unsatisfied, he lectured il fit la leçon for another fifteen minutes. Everyone responded — except one elderly âgée lady sitting in the rear au fond . “Mrs Jones, are you not willing to forgive à pardonner your enemies?” asked the preacher. “I don’t have any,” she replied. Curious, the preacher invited he...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A blonde walks into the police department looking for the officer on duty AGENT DE SERVICE . “What can I do for you?” asks the police officer. " I'd like to JE SOUHAITERAIS join the police!" she says. Amused and bored ENNUYÉ , the officer decides to humour her and asks a few questions. “What's two plus two?” “Four,” she replies. “What’s the square root RACINE CARRÉE of one hundred?” “Ten,” she answers. “Good. Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?” Puzzled, she thinks for a moment and says, “Hmm, I don’t know.” The officer smiles and tells her to go home and think about it Y RÉFLÉCHIR . The blonde arrives home and rings one of her friends, who asks whether she got the job. “Not only did I get the job,” she replies excited...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A pregnant ENCEINTE woman was in a car accident and fell into a coma COMA . She remained unconscious for nearly six months. When she finally woke up, she realised she was no longer pregnant PLUS ENCEINTE . Frantically AFFOLÉMENT , she asked the doctor about her baby. The doctor replied, “ Ma'am M'DAME , you had twins — a boy and a girl. Both babies are healthy. Your brother came in and named them.” The woman thought to herself, “Oh no, not my brother! He’s such an idiot IMBÉCILE !” Expecting S'ATTENDANT À the worst, she asked the doctor, “Alright, what’s the girl’s name?” “Denise,” said the doctor. She thought, “That’s actually EN FAIT↔EN RÉALITÉ not bad. Maybe I was wrong about my brother. I quite FRANCHEMENT like Denise.” Then she asked the doctor, “An...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A rope corde walked into a bar. The bartender barman looked at it and said, “ We don’t serve ropes on ne sert pas de cordes ici .” The rope felt offended offensé and asked why. The bartender shook his head secoua la tête . “ Your kind les gens de ton genre have caused trouble before. One of our staff personnel was accidentally hanged pendu , and that was the last straw la goutte de trop .” Feeling hurt blessé moralement , the rope left. Later, angry about the unfair injuste treatment, he tied himself up se noua and pulled his ends apart écarta ses extrémités until they were messy en désordre and poofy ébouriffé . Back at the bar, the bartender squinted. “ Aren’t you a rope tu ne serais pas une corde ?” The rope replied, “No — I’m a frayed knot litt. un nœud eff...