ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. A man was up on his roof TOIT repairing some shingles BARDAGES / TUILLES when a neighbour walking by stopped and called up to him. “Excuse me! Can I talk to you for a second?” “Yeah, sure — what can I do for you?” the man answered, glancing down BAISSANT LES YEUX . The neighbour hesitated for a moment, then said: “I have something to ask you… but it would be better if you came down first SI TU DESCENDAIS D’ABORD .” The roofer shrugged HAUSSA LES ÉPAULES , set his tools aside DE CÔTÉ , climbed down the ladder ÉCHELLE , brushed some dust off his clothes and walked over. “Okay, I’m listening JE T’ÉCOUTE . What’s up QU’Y A-T-IL ? ” The neighbour lowered his voice BAISSA LA VOIX , looking a little embarrassed GÊNÉ . “ Sorry to bother you DÉSOLÉ DE TE DÉRANGER , but…...

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. A woman visited a family. At the end of her visit, she gave a dollar to the little boy whose family she had been visiting. The little boy put the bill BILLET in his pocket without saying thank you. His mother, thinking perhaps he was too shy TIMIDE , asked him: “ What do you reply? QUE RÉPONDS-TU ? ” “I don’t know.” “Yes you do. What do I always say when your father gives me money?” “You say: ‘ Is that all? C’EST TOUT ? ’” Vocabulary Bill: a banknote (paper money). Shy: nervous or timid in the company of other people. The boy slipped the bill BILLET into his pocket. His mother thought he was too shy TIMIDE to speak. Grammar Past simple for completed narrative actions + present simple for repeated/habitual behaviour in dialogu...

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles TOUT EN APPLIQUANT LES MÊMES PRINCIPES . Therefore PAR CONSÉQUENT , every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by LES PASSANTS what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I did the night before, what I will do later and with whom AVEC QUI . I give them pictures of my family, my dog and of me gardening, taking things apart EN DÉMONTANT DES OBJETS in the garage, watering the lawn EN ARROSANT LA PELOUSE , standing in front of landmarks DES MONUMENTS CÉLÈBRES , driving around town, having lunch and doing what anybody and everybody does every day. I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" LEUR FAIRE UN « POUCE LEVÉ » and tell them I like them. And it works just like Facebook! I already have four people fo...

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. A guy rings UN TYPE APPELA one of his co-workers over the weekend. A small voice replies, “Hello?” The man says, “Can you call your dad PÈRE to the phone?” “ I'm afraid JE CRAINS QUE he’s busy,” says the little boy. “In that case I’ll talk to your mum MÈRE .” “I’m sorry, but she is busy.” “Is there anyone else over there?” “Yes, the police.” “The police! Let me talk to a police officer, then.” “I’m afraid they’re all busy—the police and the firefighters LES SAPEURS-POMPIERS .” “They’re all busy?! What do you mean they’re all busy? Your father’s busy, your mother’s busy, the police and the firefighters are busy! But what in Heaven's name POUR L’AMOUR DU CIEL are they doing?” And the little boy whispers MURMURA gently into the telephone, “They’re looking for me…” Vocabulary Whisp...