ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. The local pub was so confident that its bartender barman was the strongest man around that they offered a standing €1000 bet un pari permanent de €1000 . The bartender barman would squeeze a lemon presser un citron until all the juice ran into a glass and then hand the lemon to a patron client ↔habitué . Anyone who could squeeze out one more drop of juice would win the money. Many had tried over time— weight-lifters haltérophiles , longshoremen dockers , and others—but none succeeded. One day, a scrawny maigrichon little man in a polyester suit costard and thick glasses entered the pub. In a squeaky voice voix aiguë , he said, “I’d like to try the bet le pari .” After the laughter rires had died down se calmé , the bartender barman said, “Alright,” grabbed a lemon prit un citron , and squeezed until no more juice ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. Two elderly women were out for a Sunday drive in a massive car. Neither of them PAS L'UNE NI L'AUTRE could see properly over the dashboard TABLEAU DE BORD . As they reached an intersection, the light turned red, yet they kept cruising through CONTINUÈRENT SANS S'ARRÊTER . The passenger thought to herself, " I feel like I'm losing it JE CRUS DEVENIR FOLLE , but I swear JE JURAI we just drove through a red light." A few minutes later, they ran another red light. The passenger was now convinced the light had been red but worried she might be going mad DEVINT FOLLE , so she decided to test the driver one last time. At the next intersection, the passenger paid a great deal of attention PRÊTA BEAUCOUP D'ATTENTION . The light was unmistakably red—yet again, they sped ROULÈRENT TRÈS VITE straight through...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A lorry camion driver is transporting 200 penguins to London Zoo when his vehicle breaks down tombe en panne on the motorway autoroute . While inspecting the engine, another lorry camion pulls up s'arrête in front of him. The second driver hops out descend and asks if he can lend a hand donner un coup de main . The first driver explains he’s en route to sur le chemin de the zoo with the penguins and asks if the other man would mind verrait un inconvénient taking them there instead à la place . The second driver agrees. Hours later, the same lorry camion drives past the broken-down one celui en panne . The penguins are still on board, looking cheerful joyeux and relaxed. “I thought I asked you to take those penguins to the zoo!” the first driver shouts. The second driver replies, “I did, but I ...