ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer 𝔸n attorney AVOCAT(E) was sitting in his office late one night when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil said, "I have a proposal for you. J'AI UNE PROPOSITION POUR TOI You can win every case PROCÈS you try for the rest of your career. Your clients will worship you, your colleagues will envy you, and you'll earn obscene amounts of money. All I want in exchange... is your soul." The lawyer sniffed the air—sulphur. He narrowed his eyes and asked, "What's the catch?" C'EST QUOI L'ARNAQUE ? 🔍 Vocabulary Attorney (AVOCAT): A lawyer, especially in formal contexts. Case (PROCÈS): A legal dispute brought to court. Catch (ARNAQUE): A hidden drawback or trick. She hired an attorney to handle the con...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer What two birds met in the insane asylum? A Cuckoo COUCOU and a Loon PLONGEON . What bird lives in Hollywood? A Starling ÉTOURNEAU . What bird can give you splinters? A Woodpecker PIC . What bird works in construction? A Crane GRUE . What bird loves guacamole? A Dipper CINCLE . What do you call a bird that picks its nose? A Flicker PIC FLAMBOYANT . What do you call a bird that works at a restaurant? A Wader ÉCHASSIER . What bird just got arrested? A Robin ROUGE-GORGE . What bird goes to church? A Cardinal CARDINAL . What bird does drugs? A Dark-eyed Junco JUNCO ARDOISÉ . What bird wears a toupee? A Heron HÉRON . What bird is in a band? A Rock Dove ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot, and so did my kids. I went to work, and even my colleagues didn’t say anything. As I entered my office, my secretary said, " Happy birthday BIRTHDAY GREETING , boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out INVITED ME TO GO SOMEWHERE WITH HER for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her flat APARTMENT OR PLACE WHERE SHE LIVES . We went there and she said, " Do you mind IS IT OKAY WITH YOU if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out five minutes later with a birthday cake — and my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, and my colleagues all yelling SHOUTING LOUDLY , "SURPRISE!!!...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer In Jerusalem A CITY IN ISRAEL , a journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall A HOLY WALL WHERE PEOPLE PRAY to pray, twice TWO TIMES a day, every day, for a long, long time. She went to the Wall, and there he was! She watched him pray, and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview. “Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?” “For about 50 years,” said the old man. “50 years! That’s amazing VERY SURPRISING OR IMPRESSIVE ! What do you pray for?” “Well, I pray for peace NO WAR OR FIGHTING . I pray for all the hatred STRONG DISLIKE OR ANGER to stop, and I pray for all our children to grow up wise SMART AND MAKING GOOD CHOICES , in safety BEING F...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer A woman had been in a happy marriage for years, but one day, she had an affair and cheated on her husband HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHILE MARRIED . Realising her mistake, she began praying to God: "Lord, I know what I did was wrong, but my marriage is the only thing that gives my life purpose REASON FOR LIVING OR DOING SOMETHING and joy. Please don’t let my husband find out." Suddenly, she heard a voice from above: "Okay my child, it will be I WILL DO WHAT YOU ASK , but on one condition: years from now, you will die by drowning DYING UNDERWATER ." The woman hesitated but replied, "Alright Lord, if it means he'll never find out, then so be it." The next years of her life were joyful and peaceful. She started a successful business and ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer Reporter : "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man : "Yes!" Reporter : "Name?" Man : "Bubba Gimble." Reporter : "Sex?" Bubba : "Three to five times a week." Reporter : "No, no! I mean... male or female?" Bubba : "Yes, male, female... sometimes skunk A SMALL ANIMAL THAT SPRAYS BAD SMELL ." Reporter : " Holy cow USED TO SHOW SURPRISE OR SHOCK !" Bubba : "Yes, cow, sheep AN ANIMAL WITH WOOL THAT SAYS 'BAA' ... animals in general." Reporter : "But isn't that hostile?" Bubba : "Yes — horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter : " Oh dear USED TO SHOW SURPRISE OR SHOCK !" Bubba : "No, no deer A WILD...