ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. During a visit to a mental asylum UN ASILE PSYCHIATRIQUE , a man asked the director how they determined whether SI a patient should be institutionalised. The director explained, “Well, we fill up a bathtub NOUS REMPLISSONS UNE BAIGNOIRE . Then we give the person a teaspoon UNE CUILLÈRE À CAFÉ , a teacup UNE TASSE À THÉ , and a bucket UN SEAU , and ask them to empty DE VIDER the bathtub.” The man nodded confidently HOCHA LA TÊTE AVEC ASSURANCE . “Oh, I see! A normal person would use the bucket, because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.” The director frowned slightly FRONÇA LÉGÈREMENT LES SOURCILS , then gestured to the orderlies FIT UN GESTE AUX SURVEILLANTS . “No, a normal person would pull the bathtub drain plug TIRER LA BONDE DE LA BAIGNOIRE . Now then… would you prefer PRÉFÉRERIEZ-VO...

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. A man is driving up a steep RAIDE and narrow ÉTROITE mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out SE PENCHA À L’EXTÉRIEUR of her car window and yells "PIG!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds TOURNA the next corner, he crashes into PERCUTA a pig right there in the middle of the road, and dies. Vocabulary To lean out: to move your upper body outside (e.g. through a window). To crash into: to hit something violently, often by accident. She leans out SE PENCHA À L’EXTÉRIEUR of the window to shout. He crashes into PERCUTA an obstacle on the road. Grammar The joke mainly uses past simple for narration, with sequen...

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. Little Johnny attended a horse auction VENTE AUX ENCHÈRES with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump CROUPE , and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?” His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape EN PLEINE FORME before I buy.” Johnny, looking worried, said, “Dad, I think the postman FACTEUR wants to buy Mum.” Vocabulary Rump: the hindquarters or rear part of an animal. In good shape: physically fit and healthy. The father checks the horse’s rump CROUPE . He wants the horses to be in good shape EN PLEINE FORME . Grammar The joke mainly uses past simple ...

Learn English With Jokes Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction. Boy: “I failed N’AI PAS RÉUSSI EN arithmetic.” Father: “Why?” Boy: “When the teacher asked ‘ How much is COMBIEN FONT 2 × 4?’ I answered ‘eight’.” Father: “But that’s correct!” Boy: “Then she said, ‘How much is 4 × 2?’” Father: “What’s the f*cking difference?” Boy: “That’s exactly what I asked her too!” Vocabulary Fail: not to succeed in an exam or subject. How much is…: a question used to ask for the result of a calculation. He failed N’A PAS RÉUSSI EN his maths test. The teacher asked, “ How much is COMBIEN FONT 6 × 7?” Grammar The joke relies on simple past narration and direct questions. Past simple: The teacher asked a question and the boy answered . Question form (wh-question): How much is 2 × 4? Syn...