ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.   Three French boys are discussing what it means to have savoir-faire GRACE, TACT AND FINESSE . The first boy says, “It is like this. If a man comes home and finds his wife in bed with AU LIT AVEC another man, and quietly SILENCIEUSEMENT he tiptoes MARCHE SUR LA POINTE DES PIEDS away so as to not disturb them LES DÉRANGER then he has savoir-faire GRACE, TACT AND FINESSE .” The second boy says, “No, that is laisser-faire LAISSER FAIRE . If the man tips his hat INCLINE SON CHAPEAU and says, ‘Excuse me. Please continue,’ then he has savoir-faire GRACE, TACT AND FINESSE .” The third boy says, “No. It is like this. If a man comes home, finds his wife in bed with AU LIT AVEC another man, and he tips his hat INCLINE SON CHAPEAU and says, ‘Please continue,’ and the other man keeps at it CONTINUE , then HE has savoir-faire GRACE, TACT AND FINESSE .”   ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A man was sued A ÉTÉ POURSUIVI EN JUSTICE by a woman for defamation of character after he called her a pig. He was found guilty IL A ÉTÉ RECONNU COUPABLE ET S'EST VU INFLIGER UNE AMENDE and was fined by the court. After the trial PROCÈS , the man approached the judge and asked, “Just to be clear, Your Honour — I'm not allowed to call Ms Williams a pig, right?” “Correct,” said the judge. The man paused, scratching his head. “But… can I call a pig Ms Williams?” The judge smiled slightly and said, “There’s no law against that.” The man turned to his accuser, bowed S'INCLINA politely, and said, “Good afternoon, Ms Williams.” 🔍 Vocabulary In this joke, let’s examine sued , found guilty , trial , and bowed . Sued: to take legal action against someone. Fo...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A man and his wife were at a wedding MARIAGE . The man came back from the bar with two glasses of whisky and set one down EN POSA UN in front of her. “What’s this?” she asked, surprised. “I asked you for a sweet sherry SHERRY DOUX !” “ Never mind that PEU IMPORTE ,” said the man. “Drink it!” She picked up the glass and sniffed it warily LA RENIFLA PRUDEMMENT . Then she took a sip GORGEÉE and instantly screwed up her face A GRIMACÉ . “That’s disgusting DÉGOÛTANT !” she exclaimed ELLE EXCLAMA . “Exactly!” said the man. “And you think that when I’m out with my mates COPAINS every night, drinking that, I’m enjoying myself!” Vocabulary Wedding: a ceremony where two people get married. Sweet sherry: a type of sweet, fortified wine often served as a drink. Sip: a small amount of liquid ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. Two women from Canada, tired FATIGUÉES of the freezing cold FROID GLACIAL , decided to travel to Australia for the winter. They were sitting at a beachside club CLUB AU BORD DE LA PLAGE in Perth, enjoying the sunshine and sipping SIROTANT cold drinks when two local lads GARS spotted them. “Hey, mate COPAIN ,” one lad said to the other, “why don’t you go ask those pretty ladies to join us?” “My pleasure!” his buddy POTE replied, walking over to their table. “ G’day BONJOUR , ladies! Haven’t seen you around here before. Where are you from?” One of the women smiled proudly FIÈREMENT and replied, “Saskatoon, Saskatchewan!” The lad stared at them LES REGARDA for a moment, blinked CLIGNA LES YEUX , and walked away. He returned to his friend, who asked, “Well, are they coming over, or should we join them?” ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. > – The doctor told me I’d be back on my feet PIEDS in two weeks… – And? Was he right? – Yeah, I had to sell my car VOITURE to pay his bill FACTURE . A young man goes to see his doctor MÉDECIN and says: “Doctor, one of my friends slept with A COUCHÉ AVEC a girl he didn’t know, and he’s afraid of catching a sexually transmitted disease MALADIE SEXUELLEMENT TRANSMISSIBLE . He’s very worried S'INQUIÉTER . What should he do?” The doctor replies: “Open your zip BRAGUETTE and show me your friend!” The doctor says to his patient PATIENT : – I’ve got bad news and very bad news for you. – Start with the bad. – I got your test results. They show ILS MONTRENT clearly you have only 24 hours left to live. – 24 HOURS! That’s awful TERRIBLE ! That’s unbelievable! And you say you’ve go...