ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer A computer-science student at MIT MASSACHUSETTS INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY showed up at his friend’s dorm UNIVERSITY ROOM room with a brand-new COMPLETELY NEW bike. His friend said, "Nice bike! Where’d you get it from?" "You won't believe it," he replied. "I was walking across campus when this gorgeous VERY ATTRACTIVE blonde rode up on a bike, stopped, threw it down, ripped off TORE OFF QUICKLY all her clothes, and said, 'Take whatever you want!'" His friend paused, thought for a moment, then nodded MOVED HEAD UP AND DOWN and said, "Good choice. Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you WOULD HAVE BEEN THE WRONG SIZE FOR YOU anyway." 🔍 Vocabulary In this joke, let's lo...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other COMMENCE A SE REGARDER . The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down in the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands SE LAVER LES MAINS . After dinner, one thing leads to another UNE CHOSE EN ENTRAÎNANT UNE AUTRE and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot SE METTENT À CHAUFFER , the lady doctor interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands NETTOYER SES MAINS . When she comes back, they go at it again ILS S'Y REMETTENT . Afterwards, she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands SE LAVER LES MAINS . As she comes back, the male doctor says, " I bet you are JE PARIE QUE VOUS ÊTES a surgeon." She confirms and a...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer A football AMERICAN FOOTBALL coach walked into the locker room CHANGING ROOM FOR ATHLETES before an important match, looked at his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play because you failed DID NOT PASS math, but we need you on the field. So what I'm gonna I AM GOING TO (INFORMAL) do is ask you a math question. If you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, I want you to concentrate... what's two plus two?" The player thought for a minute and then said, "4...?" "Did you say 4?!" the coach exclaimed, excited that his star player was gonna play. At that, all the other players on the team started screaming SHOUTED LOUDLY , "Come on, co...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer Once upon a time, there was a king who wanted to go fishing. He called the royal weather forecaster Person who predicts weather conditions and asked about the weather forecast for the next few hours. The weatherman assured him, "There is no chance of rain in the coming days." So, the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way, he met a farmer riding his donkey LONG-EARED, STUBBORN BEAST OF BURDEN . When the farmer saw the king, he said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once. In just a short time, I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area." The king, polite and considerate, replied, "I hold the palace meteorologist Weather expert with scientific training ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer A guy sits down in a movie theatre CINEMA and notices that the man in front of him has brought his dog ANIMAL OFTEN KEPT AS A PET , and it's sitting in the seat next to him. He thinks it's unusual, but he likes dogs so he decides that as long as it's not a distraction he won't mention it. The movie starts and pretty soon FAIRLY QUICKLY there's a funny part. The dog makes some low yapping SHORT, HIGH-PITCHED BARKING SOUNDS sounds that sound like laughter THE SOUND PEOPLE MAKE WHEN THEY FIND SOMETHING FUNNY . Soon there's a sad part and the dog appears to be sobbing LOOKS LIKE IT'S CRYING . This continues throughout FROM BEGINNING TO END OF the film and the man sitting behind the dog is gobsmacked EXTREMELY SURPRISED OR AMAZED . ...