ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A curate, a minister, and a rabbi decide to see who’s best at their job. They each venture into the woods LES BOIS , find a bear OURS , and attempt TENTER to convert it. Later, they gather to share their experiences. The curate begins: “When I found the bear OURS , I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled ASPERGÉ him with holy SAINT water. Next week is his First Communion.” “I found a bear OURS near the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy SAINT word. The bear was so mesmerised that he let me baptise him.” They both look at the rabbi, who is lying on a stretcher ALLONGÉ SUR UN BRANCARD in a cast PLÂTRE . “ Looking back AVEC LE RECUL ,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have JE N’AURAIS PAS DÛ started with the circumcision.” 🔍 Vocabulary In this jok...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. Choisissez des blagues selon la grammaire utilisée (à partir des 'labels' en bas) 𝔸 woman's dog came in one day in heat EN CHALEUR and she was concerned about keeping it and her other dog separated. However CEPENDANT , she had a large house and believed she could keep the two apart. But as she was drifting off to sleep S’ASSOUPIR that night, she heard growling GROGNEMENTS and rushed SE PRÉCIPITA downstairs to find the dogs locked together ACCROUPLÉS ENSEMBLE , unable to disengage (as frequently happens when dogs mate S’ACCOUPLENT ). Unable to separate them, she called her vet VÉTÉRINAIRE . He answered in a grumpy GRINCHEUX voice. The vet listened and said: " Hang up RACCROCHE the phone and place it alongside À CÔTÉ DE the dogs. I’ll call you back and the noise wi...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. Choisissez des blagues selon la grammaire utilisée (à partir des 'labels' en bas) 𝔸 cheerful JOYEUX 90-year-old man walked into the doctor’s surgery. He was all smiles TOUT SOURIANT and laughed with the staff PERSONNEL , until they brought him in to see the doctor. The doctor examined him and advised him to eat better, as his health SANTÉ was not in great shape. The old man was surprised. He said, “I’ve never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride ÉPOUSE who is pregnant ENCEINTE with my child. What do you think about that?” The doctor considered his question for a moment and then said, “I have an elderly ÂGÉ friend who is a hunter CHASSEUR and never misses a season. One day, in a bit of a hurry UN PEU PRESSÉ , he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his rifle. When he got...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. Choisissez des blagues selon la grammaire utilisée (à partir des 'labels' en bas) 𝔸 little boy wants his toy JOUET , so he walks up to S'APPROCHE DE his mother and says, "Mum, give me my toy." His mother responds, "What are the magic words?" So the little boy says the magic words and his mum gives him his toy. The next day, the boy starts kindergarten MATERNELLE . At snack time RÉCRÉATION ↔ COLLATION , he wants some juice, so he asks his teacher for a juice box. The teacher says, "What are the magic words?" He says the magic words. But the teacher gets upset SE FÂCHE and calls the mother. When they are together, the teacher explains, "He asked for juice, and instead of saying 'please,' he said ' you’re thin T'ES MI...