ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A man acquired a parrot PERROQUET that could already speak, having once belonged to a sailor MARIN with a vast vocabulary. However CEPENDANT , the man soon realised that the parrot mostly knew vulgar words. At first, he found it funny AMUSANT , but it quickly became tiresome LASSANT . When he had guests INVITÉS over, the bird’s crude language embarrassed him greatly. As soon as DÈS QUE the guests left, the man angrily AVEC COLÈRE shouted CRIA at the parrot, “That language must stop!” But the bird responded with curses MALÉDICTIONS . He shook SECOUA the bird a...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. God was assigning traits ATTRIBUAIT DES QUALITÉS to Adam and Eve and realised he had only two traits QUALITÉS left. He decided to let them choose. “I have two remaining traits,” God said. “The first is the ability to pee D’URINER while standing.” Adam immediately jumped up. “I’ll take that one! I can go anywhere without sitting down. I can even write my name in the snow ÉCRIRE MON NOM DANS LA NEIGE !” God raised an eyebrow DIEU LEVA UN SOURCIL . “You’re sure? You haven’t heard the other option.” Adam waved him off L’ÉCARTA D’UN GESTE . “Doesn’t matter. Standing up to pee is unbeatable IMBATTABLE .” God turned to Eve. “Are you all right with this?” Eve looked at Adam’s excitement, ...

Seasonal Wishes (No Seriousness Required) End-of-Year Wishes (No pressure. No miracles. Just vibes.) This is the part of the year where time slows down, snacks multiply, and everyone agrees to “catch up in January” knowing full well that January has other plans. English Congratulations on making it to the end of the year. That alone deserves recognition. May your holidays be calm enough to rest, loud enough to laugh, and short enough not to require a recovery plan. May next year bring fewer unnecessary meetings, more good interruptions, and at least one habit that sticks longer than a New Year’s resolution. Français Bravo d’avoir survécu à l’année. Ce n’é...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. An Amish husband, his wife, and their son travelled to the city one day. They visited a shopping mall CENTRE COMMERCIAL , and while the mother was shopping, the father and son stood in front of a lift ASCENSEUR , not knowing what it was. As they stood with their mouths open, an elderly LES PERSONNES ÂGÉES lady walked into the automatic silver doors. The doors closed. The father and son watched as the numbers went up and then down. When the doors opened, a beautiful young woman walked out. The father looked at his son and said, " Son FILS , go get your mother!" Vocabulary mall: Large building with shops inside. lift: Machine to move people between floors. elderly: Old person. They stood in front of the lift ASCENSEUR . ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. [1] A husband and wife are trying to set up CONFIGURER a new password MOT DE PASSE for their laptop. The husband types “My-PeNiS”, at which point his wife bursts out laughing ÉCLATE DE RIRE and falls off the chair, as the screen displays AFFICHE : “It is not long enough PAS ASSEZ LONG .” [2] Two fish are in a tank CHAR D’ASSAUT ↔ RÉSERVOIR . One turns to the other and asks: “Do you know how to drive CONDUIRE this thing?” [3] A child ENFANT asked his father: “How were people born NÉS ?” The father replied: “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies grew up and made more babies, and so on.” The child then asked his mother the same question, and she said: “We were monkeys SINGES , then we evolved ÉVOLUÉ to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and exclaimed: “...