aeroplane message

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An aeroplane got a message on the PA systemSYSTÈME DE SONORISATION PUBLIC: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 869, from New York to San Francisco.

The weather ahead is good, and we shouldNOUS DEVRIONS have a smoothSANS HEURTS and uneventfulSANS INCIDENT flight.

Now sit back and relax… Oh sh*t!MERDE ALORS !”

Silence followed, and after a few minutes the captain came back on the PA systemSYSTÈME DE SONORISATION PUBLIC and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry if I scaredAI EFFRAYÉ you earlierTOUT À L’HEURE; but while I was talking, the flight attendantAGENT DE BORD broughtM’A APPORTÉ me a cup of coffee and spilledA RENVERSÉ the hot coffee in my lapGIRON. You shouldVOUS DEVRIEZ see the front of my trousersPANTALON!”

A passenger in Economy said, “That’s nothing. He shouldIL DEVRAIT see the back of mineDU MIEN!”

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Vocabulary

Spill: to cause or allow (liquid) to flow over the edge of a container accidentally.

Lap: the front part of the body from the waist to the knees when sitting.

The flight attendant spilledA RENversÉ hot coffee in the captain’s lapGIRON.

You should see the front of my trousers after the spill!

Grammar

The joke uses present simple for announcements, past simple for narration, and modal “should” for suggestions/advice. Indirect speech and conditional-like structures appear in reported apologies and passenger remarks.

Past simple: The flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled it.

Modal should (advice): You should see the front of my trousers!

Reported speech: He said he was sorry if he scared us earlier.

Synonyms & Alternatives

Spill: pour out, splash, tip over.

Lap: knees, upper thighs (when seated).

Uneventful: calm, without incident, routine.

Flight attendant: cabin crew, stewardess (older term), air hostess.

Mini Dialogue

Sarah: I was carrying the soup and spilledAI RENversÉ some on my new dress!

Tom: Oh no! You shouldTU DEVrais see the stain on the front!

Sarah: That’s nothing. You shouldTU DEVrais see the back of mineDU MIEN after I sat down!

Tom: Ouch, that must have been hot!

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